Landy Peek (00:00)
Welcome to the Landy Peak podcast. I'm your host and friend, Landy Peak, and I am thrilled to have you join me. In each episode, we will explore what makes life truly fulfilling. Happiness, deep connections, and self -discovery. Together we'll uncover that happiness is not a destination, but a way of living. Now, let's dive into today's episode.
Landy Peek (00:31)
I am so excited that you are joining me for the first episode of the Landy Peak podcast. This podcast has been playing in the background of my thoughts for almost five years. And while it's not the first one that I've tried to get going and then didn't get going, it is the one that's actually getting published. it has evolved over the last five years as I have really
honed in on what I want to talk about and what I want to share. So I'm so excited for this. Have you ever felt that hitting your goals feels good, but you don't truly feel content and happy with your life? Have you ever felt that constant current of stress that lives just below the surface of life and never feels like it gives you a break?
After running,
a six -figure business, and then basically shutting it all down this last year in 2024. Because I realized success and satisfaction were two completely different things. And while I hit my success goals, the paper goals that we write down, this is how much money I want to make, this is what I want to do in my career, I wasn't
satisfied with my life.
So I pushed pause and started digging. I wanted to figure out for myself and for you, why? Why when I hit that goal?
Did it give me that burst of happiness, but not the longevity? I wasn't feeling the contentment in life. I was running on happiness hits and trying to hide from the stressors, this podcast is our opportunity, you and me, to sit as friends and start a conversation.
because I did this in my life as I started really talking to my friends and opening up about my struggles. I found not only my friends, but my clients also were feeling a similar way. I began to see that I wasn't the only one. There were a lot of us out there, a lot of successful business women who
were checking off boxes right and left, but it wasn't filling their cup. It wasn't filling them up. I remember, I I hit my first 10K month. So I made $10 ,000 in the month and I didn't take a moment to breathe, let alone celebrate. my gosh, I just hit my 10K month. It was, okay, next month's 15.
I did the same thing when I hit 20K. And I happened to have a coach who called me out on it when I hit 20K and was like, hold your horses. This is huge. This is the most money that you have made in a month to date. And literally you're like, I hit 20K next month's 25. I was chasing the goal, but I wasn't feeling good.
And so I'm taking the plunge and using this podcast as a way to share both my journey, but also the research that I have found, my personal thoughts on what I read and what I found and what I've experienced with you, because I truly believe our deepest secrets are the most common and the ones we're hiding. And we don't need to be hiding those. So why not start the conversation?
Why not share so you can see that you are not the only one?
If I haven't met you yet, I'm excited to meet you. I am Landy Peak. I'm an occupational therapist and somatic experiencing therapist. I have spent my professional career working in all settings of pediatrics, in women's pelvic health, and helping women heal from past traumas with somatic experiencing. I've also coached therapists around their mindset, growing their businesses. I live in Colorado with my incredible husband, two amazing kiddos.
We have our own little farm in the city with chickens, dogs, a cat, and a parakeet. Throughout this podcast, we will get the opportunity to talk about how our success goals on paper don't necessarily mean that we're creating a life of contentment and feeling that sense of fulfillment. And since this is a theme, because so many conversations I've had with my friends, colleagues, clients, and I'm guessing you've probably experienced something similar.
feeling stressed out and unfulfilled with a busy and successful life. Because I don't think we talk about that enough. We look at, well, success should mean happiness, but it doesn't. And so because of my own experiences, I began to research and explore happiness, what makes a fulfilling life, and where does stress come in? And how can we create a life where stress does not rule the roost?
nor are we constantly seeking the next happiness hit. You know those happiness hits? Those are the things that make us feel good in the moment but don't have long lasting effects. It's like wine, chocolate, shopping, sex. All those things that like give us that light up, that buzz, that yes. I never would have called myself depressed but I wasn't feeling the contentment that I wanted in life.
I was chasing that next happiness hit. And at the end of 2023, I thought I had it all. I had literally moved to my dream town. I lived in an incredible neighborhood. I had amazing friends and neighbors. I still do, still live in the same place. I worked four days a week, only school hours, and had a six figure business. I spent time public speaking, volunteering. I was still
able to be there for drop -off and pick -up for my kids and be the room parent. Like I'm doing it all, all the things that I sat down and wrote and said this is what I want out of my life. And I created it and it was great, except I wasn't feeling fulfilled. I didn't have that underlying contentment. I was always searching for the next thing.
So in early 2024, I had a trifecta of stressors and I decided to step back from my business for a couple of weeks. Just, I'm taking a little bit of break, put everything on hold, which gave me the emotional bandwidth to support my family and myself through a stressful time. Like self -care at its finest, Except it opened my eyes. So two things happened.
I, first of all, realized that I was hitting my goals but not loving my life.
And the things that I allowed myself to do in that two week time out, mini vacation.
were the things that I was craving, the things that I was saying I didn't have time to do, things like reading in the hammock, sitting with my feet in the river, the simple joys that I used to love when I was younger, when I really didn't feel all of the stress and pressure of life.
Those simple things like the contentment with baking, listening to the rain, going for simple walks with no time frame and no true destination.
I was living from burst of joy from our success, my personal success and self -care stimulation, even massages and bringing Netflix or binging, not bringing, binging Netflix with my husband, the glass of wine. It felt good, but I wasn't content. Have you ever felt that? You know, when you're, you,
but you're still stressed and you're just doing the things that kind of band -aid it but don't actually solve the problem.
So, number one, I realized that I was deeply missing these parts of myself that I didn't have time for.
And the other thing happened where we were sitting at the dinner table one night and my daughter's like, let's play the favorite game. I don't know if you've played this at your house. If you have kids, you probably have, or if you've been around kids, you probably do, right? We go from what's your first favorite color, your second favorite color, your third favorite color, your first favorite animal, you know, all of that. Like, what are all your favorites? And it's fun. Except for that night.
And this was in my kind of two week hiatus. My daughter's like, let's play the favorite game. And as she said, what's your favorite color? And it came around to me and I said, I don't know. And my husband gave me this look with, you know, that look that's just like, my gosh, can you just play along? But it hit me in that moment.
I hadn't thought about my favorite color in a long time. I wasn't even quite sure what it was.
And I really realized that somewhere in my chase for my paper goals, all of those check boxes, I'd forgotten about me and what I liked and what made me happy in those simple joys, not those big hits.
And I was working towards goals that I wasn't even sure aligned with who I wanted to be or who I was anymore.
And I thought about it and I used to be able to roll off who, know, my favorite colors, my favorite animals, like all of this big list used to be easy. I used to have hobbies that were just hobbies. And my life had become a list of shoulds, right? The yoga that I loved, that was supposed to be just this hobby was now used as part of exercise and was crammed in at five o 'clock in the morning so I could get it
done before the kids got up. So then I could go to work and focus on work until I picked up my kids and then I focused on kids and dinner and homework and all of that kind of stuff. And it's not that that those things weren't fun. I really truly enjoy being around my kids. It's that I was, I'd lost the intent behind it. Yoga wasn't that pleasurable thing. It was
a way to exercise. That yes, I enjoyed, but I had lost the wholeness. If that makes sense.
It was the things like I used to love to bake and play with recipes. And baking had now become a chore. And I get it, baking on your own when you're single versus baking with little kids is a whole different thing. And that was part of that transition, right? But even the simple things of I used to love photography and now the only things I took pictures of were my kids.
All of those things became shoulds. I wasn't doing anything for just the enjoyment of doing it.
So I made lists of things that I used to like to do to be able to explore, I still like this? And there were some things that yes, I still love it. I love to bake and I have built baking back into my life. I love those simple moments of being in nature, sitting beside a river and hearing that water is so incredible.
I was thriving on the outside. had bursts of happiness, but I wasn't truly satisfied because I had let go of those simple joys.
And how many of us are unsatisfied with things in our lives, but we're too busy to change them. There are those little nuisances, like those, the squeaking chair, right? Have you ever had that where you have like a chair or door that just has that little squeak when you move it? And it's not anything that impacts the function of what you're doing, right? The door still works, the chair still rolls.
But it's that nuisance, that annoying little bit of squeak that you don't ever take time to fix because it's not big enough to take time to fix, but it still annoys you every single day. So for me, the color of my house. So in our new house, we've lived here for two years. And I sat one night looking at the ugly tan paint that covered every wall in our house.
I mean blanket covered this ugly tan paint. And every time I walked in, I grumbled at the ugly tan paint. And every time I did anything in house and saw it, I grumbled. But I never changed it. In the 18 months that we have lived in this house, I never changed it.
And I realized as I was sitting there looking at this ugly tan paint that one of the things I used to do and I used to love, but this was pre -kids so it was a lot easier to do. I used to love fixing up the houses that we bought and making them bright and fun. It gave me two things. It gave me that immediate hit.
love that first paint change, you know, or you really see it. Like if you paint white on white, like it does nothing for me. But if I get like a beautiful green over that tan, it's like, And it gave me long lasting joy because every time I look at that wall, every time I walk into my house now and I see this deep green wall, I'm like, it's amazing. I love it. It changes my mood. Just in that moment.
instead of bringing my mood down. And I realized in our last house when we lived in New Mexico, we lived in that house for six years. I only painted it when we were getting it ready to sell. I never painted it for me. I painted it to sell. And I painted it in neutral colors, so no fun there. So the house I grumbled over every day.
but I had never changed it. It's the squeaking chair, the squeaking door, those things that create a low level of stress and just like, ugh. Every single day, those things, when we start to change them, start to make a huge difference because instead of walking in my door going, ugh, I walk in my front door and go, I love this. I enjoy being home.
And so I gave myself two more weeks to paint my house. And I have painted almost every wall in my house. Now there's a few, like the closet that I'm sitting in recording, that I haven't bothered to paint. But for the most part, every wall in my house has been painted.
And I realized as I gave myself more space and started to find more joyful activities, I didn't want to go back to work like it was. And here's the funny thing, I own my own business. I designed my work. I created my day in the way that I thought would be good for me. And maybe it was at the time and
I've evolved and changed and it no longer is. And that's the great thing, right? We're in a journey of life where we're evolving and changing, but it no longer lit me up. I wanted something that really fulfilled me. And it wasn't that my work did not fulfill me. I love, love, love, love working with my clients. I love that time. I love my clients. It wasn't that that part didn't fulfill me.
It's what I realized and looked at what I was doing and how I was filling my day was to create that six figure business. I had to do a lot of marketing and I didn't go into this work to do marketing. And yes, that's something you have to do for business. I understand that. But I wasn't filling my day with the activities I love one -on -ones with my clients, groups with my clients. That fills me up.
It was all of the other stuff and the push to get that next amount of money. It was actually draining me.
So as I gave myself more time and I did a little bit more research and got a little bit more curious around happiness and contentment.
I also started really documenting what was making me happy. What were the times in my day that felt the best? And I started just looking for the joy. What felt good? And it became this really easy game of that feels bad, that feels good. That feels bad, that feels good. Check, check. And as I did my research and I tuned into my own life,
It was not surprising that the two overlapped. The things that made me the happiest were my relationships. And that was also what I found in the research. So we're going to talk about relationships because I think it's really, really important. I'm not going to dive into them right now, but they are going to be coming up in the podcast. So I focused in my own life on cultivating my relationships and I focused
my time with my kids, not just on time spent, but really on looking at fulfilling time spent. And this was key because as I spent that time, I realized that what filled my bucket might not fill my kids. And so as I had been so conscious of making sure I spent time with my kids, I was there for pick up and drop off and
parties and I read to them every night and...
they still, especially my daughter, did not feel fulfilled because...
What filled her bucket in that relationship sense was not reading every night. It was playing. And that wasn't something that I was focused on doing. So as I started shifting and saying, so if I actually do this focused time doing activities with her and it's fun for me, behaviors changed.
ever noticed that it wasn't just more time because I literally can only spend so much time doing nerf wars, building Legos, and sword fighting. It was the focused time. It was the time that I spent doing the things that helped us both feel connected and that was the key.
So I also looked at what was the focused time that I could spend with my husband.
that helped us feel connected. And I realized a lot of the time that I spent with my husband, we spent complaining about the kids, about bills, about this, about that. We started looking for ways that we could really connect. What were those activities? So it didn't take me any more time in my day. It was just restructuring how I spent that time so that we were feeling that connection and realizing that what
had me feeling a deeper connection. I love reading at night to my kids. Really wasn't filling the bucket, especially for my daughter. So it was shifting that so that we really did find the activities that felt good for both of us. I reached out to old friends and new friends.
And I had more and more conversations about overwhelm, stress.
Feeling good, happiness, those happiness hits, feeling content and fulfilled. And realize I wasn't the only one on this journey.
And so I took some time to go on a journey back to my roots, finding me and what I love. Those things that allowed me those sensations of contentment.
I'm not here to just share my journey. I will talk about it. But instead to help you ask yourself those same questions, get curious, and reframe your life. Because as I looked through a different lens, I not only found a way to make sense of my life, but a way to feel more in control, more fulfilled, and a sense of contentment I hadn't felt in a very, long time.
And while I had the luxury of stepping back from work, I know not everyone does. So this is your chance to learn from my experiences because sharing my research and aha moments can help you cut through the Google mud. Cause anytime you search for Google, like there's so much stuff that comes up and be able to have your own takeaways.
be able to have action steps that you can easily do without spending eight months reading self -help books and research on happiness. I want to share with you just a few key points today that I have learned along the way. We will dive in deeper in later episodes, but I want to give you a snapshot. So one of the things I had bought into was that I needed someone else to
tell me what I needed. So I hired coaches and took classes and followed other people's rules for life. And yes, it was helping in my life. But what I realized is that I really had to tune into me. I was the only one that can make the changes. So what I'm going to share 90 % of
What I talk about. You can do yourself.
We get so caught up in trying to find the answers outside of ourselves that we miss it all together. And I did this for years. You don't need me or anyone else for that matter to make incredible transformations in your life. I believe in you and I want you to feel that power in yourself. That it's you that gets to make those changes and you that gets to just that gets to decide what changes you want to make.
And you don't need the next best guru, the most incredible new program, or to spend tens of thousands of dollars or more to change your life. I did that. I went on that journey. I was seeking so much outside of myself and really truly believing that someone else had the answers. That if I could just have someone say that this is exactly what you need, this is where you can find it. And all of that external search, really didn't
get me where I wanted to go. So I'm gonna say, you don't need anything outside of you. You can do it on your own.
With that said, here's the caveat.
With that said, here's the caveat. Would I be where I am today with the thoughts I'm having, the career success, the relationship success that I'm having if I didn't have the people in my life that held me along the way? No, because I needed someone to shine a flashlight on my own bullshit.
I couldn't see my own blind spots. And I want to put out there, I've stopped using the term block. We hear so much, we have a block. Well, as long as I had a block, I had to figure out how to fix it. A block means that there's something stopping you, that there is something in your way. And I realized it wasn't that something was stopping me. And so instead of the term block, I started using blind spots.
I couldn't see it, right? It's like...
Most of us probably drive. And so you've experienced using your side mirrors on a car. So we've all probably been driving and you look over your shoulder and you can't see anything. But as soon as you look in that side mirror, you're like, my gosh, there's car. Right? So that's what helps. Can you drive?
and get to your destination without your side mirrors? Yes. Is it more helpful to have them? Yes. Right? Because it's those blind spots that are dangerous.
And that's where I found the most incredible help is from those people who helped me see the blind spots. And this is what I do in my own business.
And this is what I do in my own business with my clients is I hold up the mirrors and I ask the questions. I don't give you the answers. And this is what I, and this is my intention for the podcast is to hold up the mirrors and ask you the questions, not give you the answers. Because as I went from somebody else telling me what to do to somebody else telling me what to do, I was really missing out.
So I think the right way to do it is to find those people that hold up the mirrors so that you can see your blind spots. And then...
And then have those people ask the questions that get you thinking in a different way, get you thinking about your thoughts and your experiences and get you thinking once you see something in the blind spot, if it's something that you really need to change or if it's okay.
So.
The third thing.
that I really want and invite you to hear is you don't need fixing. I hear this so much. And I think, and my world is the therapy world, right? And the coaching world where we as humans are coming to those professionals because we feel like we have a problem. We, as those professionals are trained to search out the problem. And so we start to have that blanket view.
of there is something wrong with you. There is something wrong with me. And I want to say you don't need fixing. There's nothing wrong with you. Honest to goodness, there's nothing wrong with you. I'd love to reframe it. I want to reframe it. I just did this for a client. I want to reframe it from there is something wrong with you and you need to fix it to there is nothing wrong with you.
And there may be some things that you've outgrown and are ready to change. And just let that kind of ponder and see how you feel about that. There's a huge difference between there's something wrong with you and you have to fix it. And there's nothing wrong with me. And I may have outgrown some of my strategies and I'm ready to change it. Not good, not bad, just...
different, right? We all have outgrown clothes or shoes. And it's not that there's anything wrong with them. It's not that they need fixing. It's that we just want something different, a bigger size, you know, shifting into different styles, right?
So it really is playing with, huh, what have I outgrown and what am I ready to change?
Because a lot of times, especially in the therapy world, we're looking at strategies that have been successful for you and have helped you be safe and survive, but they may not be.
the most.
for lack of a better word, grownup strategies that are functional for you now. Right? So I think it is such a big thing where I hear so many therapists, OTs, PTs, speech, mental health clinicians who feel like there's something wrong with them because our system is telling us that there's something wrong with us, right? If you had trauma, then your trauma background is
the reason that you aren't getting what you want. And that's not true. Because if you're sitting here listening to this, if you're a parent and you're holding down a job and you're raising other humans and you're getting to the grocery store and getting food and you're paying for the house over the roof over your head, right? Your house or apartment or wherever you're living, right? You are functional. And I dare say you're thriving.
because you are not in a state where you are just surviving. You're not in a state where you're just looking to make sure that you have a roof over your head and food in your mouth. That's surviving. If you're holding a job and have a business and have a house, and yes, it might be overwhelming and stressful and not feel like you're thriving, but I want to reframe you actually are doing okay.
And I think that was a huge transition for me. When I went from searching for what's wrong with me and as soon as I could figure out what's wrong with me, then I could have, right? When I could figure out what's wrong with me, then I could. How many times have we said that?
when I gave that up and looked at my life and said, you know what? I'm pretty functional. I'm doing okay.
And in that, I have some strategies that aren't the best anymore.
Some of my strategies I've outgrown and I'm ready to change them. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. I just want something different. And I think if we come from a state and a mind frame that we're okay and the strategy we have are okay, but we're ready for something different, it takes off the pressure of I have to fix me first.
So.
It's such a powerful reframe. When you think about it, you're okay and you're doing okay.
And there's nothing wrong with you. And I have worked with so many women, hundreds, thousands, that I can tell you 100 % confidence. There's nothing wrong with you.
But society always is telling us, the media is telling us there's something wrong with you, right? Our appearance, our strategies, all of that kind of stuff. There's so much that is sold to that insecurity of there's something wrong with me. And if we can come to a place where it's like, no, I'm okay, I'm functioning.
and I'm ready for a change, it opens up so many different doors.
So it's not good, it's not bad, it's not better. It's just different. I'm ready for a different strategy. And so if you are here and you are ready for something different in your life, welcome to the Landy Peak podcast family. I am so thrilled that you're here. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy life to do something good for you, to hear something and entertain thoughts.
that could change your life for the better. Our time on this earth is finite. So let's make the most of it without pushing ourselves to exhaustion.
And I want to tell you what I tell my kids every day on the way to school.
You are smart, you are creative and talented, you are worthy and deserving. You're an amazing human being and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I love you and I like you. Enjoy your day. We'll see you on the next podcast.
Landy Peek (37:51)
Hey, before you go, just a little bit of legal. This podcast is designed for educational purposes only. It is not to replace any expert advice from your doctors, therapists, coaches, or any other professional that you would work with. It's just a chat with a friend, me, where we get curious about ideas, thoughts, and things that are going on in our lives. And as we're talking about friends, if you know someone who would benefit from the conversation today, please share.
Because I think the more that we open up these conversations, the more benefit we all get. So until next time, give yourself a big hug from me and stay curious because that's the fun in this world.
