Landy Peek (00:00)
Welcome to the Landy Peak podcast. I'm your host and friend, Landy Peak, and I am thrilled to have you join me. In each episode, we will explore what makes life truly fulfilling. Happiness, deep connections, and self -discovery. Together we'll uncover that happiness is not a destination, but a way of living. Now, let's dive into today's episode.
Landy Peek (00:38)
Welcome to another episode of the Landy Peak Podcast. I'm your friend and host, Landy Peak, and I am so thrilled to have you join me today because I know you are someone who values your time and values kind of the evolution of you growing and you being able to create something that is good for your life, bringing in more joy, less stress, and finding that inner contentment. And today,
We are going to be diving in to something that I think is often buzzing around in the back of our heads, but we are not always aware of.
We're talking about understanding our needs and how they drive our actions. So grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let's dive in. Because if you ever found yourself doing something and later wondered why on earth you did that, maybe it was diving into a tub of ice cream or a pound of brownie.
after a really stressful day or snapping at your kids or partner for no apparent reason.
If you're nodding along and feeling like you've done that, you are definitely not alone. We all act on our feelings, our habits, our impulses without fully understanding what's driving us. And it happens to all of us. But what if we could flip the script? What if we could fully understand why
We are acting like we're acting.
And it's really being able to tune in to an underlying need that is the driver to our actions. And that's what I'm gonna invite you to do today. So we're gonna dive in to what is that underlying need? How our feelings and our thoughts create how we act and how we show up in this world. And we're gonna really look at how we can flip that inner script.
to meet those inner needs so that you can create the outer reactions, actions, and you that you really want. Because so many of us, especially when we're stressed and overwhelmed, we feel like we're kind of impulse driving And we wanna push pause, we wanna slow down, but we don't know how, and we don't know why.
We're jumping the gun when we do. So have you ever noticed how quickly a feeling can push you into action? Just think about the last time that you were anxious. Maybe you had the instinct to avoid whatever is causing it. Think about like maybe you got a credit card bill and you know that you overspent or you know that you really just don't have the money to cover it. And how?
it might pop up in the emails or come in the mail and you just kind of slide it away, not opening it, not looking at it. That feeling that feeling that that credit card bill caused within you, the dread created that avoidant behavior. Right? And it's not helping you.
Ignoring the credit card bill is not going to help you in the long run. But how often do you have those really big feelings? Maybe it's a phone call from someone that you just really don't want to talk to. Maybe it's something different. But it's when those overwhelming feelings create that action that maybe avoidance.
that may be jumping in, maybe it's when you're angry and you just have to jump in and confront them and make sure they understand what you are saying. It's those feelings that are tied to an underlying need that are actually creating those actions, whether we like it or not. It's like our feelings have this invisible remote control and boom, we're off doing something before we even know it, before we even had time to think it through.
And here's the catch, those feelings, those feelings that are driving us, they're really just inner signals. It's kind of like an internal GPS. Do remember that old style GPS that you had on your dashboard? Like now we just use our phones, but actually had a separate like Garmin that went on your dashboard. And I remember I had a friend in grad school. She always had her GPS on.
It was up on her dashboard. Its name was Nigel, had a British accent, and Nigel would guide her in the car wherever she went. And when I was in grad school, I went to grad school in Spokane, Washington at Eastern Washington University, and we did a lot of hiking, a lot of adventuring. And I remember,
being in the car where she had Nigel on. And Nigel's giving her directions, right? Turn by turn directions. But with people in the car and the radio on, it got loud. And she missed a turn because the carload of people and all of the sound with the radio and the talking and all of that, she couldn't hear Nigel telling her.
to turn right at whatever street it was. And so she's telling us all to try to be quiet so she can hear, right? Because now she's flustered that she missed the street and she has to figure out how to get back around. And it just flusters internally. That's us. We all have our little internal GPS system. And life is all of the people in the car and the radio on. And sometimes it's just too big and too loud.
that we miss the next step. We miss that direction. And if we don't turn down the volume, put pause, and really truly get curious and listen, then we can miss out on what we truly want. And so it's in those moments that we feel, just like my friend,
felt all anxious over missing the turn, right? Really wanting to turn down the noise, but not really having control over the noise. And we're missing the directions that we really need. We're missing that key pivotal thing that's saying, this is why we're doing it. This is what's creating that action. This is what's leading my life. And it's when we look inside and we're able to figure that out,
that we can really change how we're reacting in life, how we're living our life, how we're showing up in our life. And I think for many of us, if you're in this of stuck, stagnant space, if you're in this space where you just don't know what's coming next, if you're in this space of growth and being in the middle and having this tug of war of being a parent, having aging parents, being a human out in the workforce.
that has a variety of different poles, that's being part of relationships that are pulling us in different directions and having different things that are calling our names. But it's really looking at, okay, if I want to change where I am right now, I have to look at what's driving me. And what's driving me is that inner need.
And so one of the things that I ask my clients, that I ask myself, when I'm feeling those feelings are now controlling the remote.
But I ask them to pause and really start looking inwards and getting curious in a very non-judgmental way. I say, let's put on our detective hat. And so I'm going to invite you to put on your detective hat.
And we're going to start asking the question why. Now, if you want to dive in a little bit deeper, on episode five, there is a, it's a live, live, it's on the podcast, workshop, totally free, that'll walk you through, but it asks you why. Because we want to get to the underlying why. Why are you doing the things that you're doing? Why is this important to you?
And when we really double down on the why, that's when we start to really see things clearly. And you start to understand your behaviors in a whole new way. So one of my clients, she really was struggling in her business. And she felt like, I have lived this, parallel stories, but with my client, she was really struggling and she...
was looking at growing her business, but she felt like no matter what she put out there, it just wouldn't go. It just wouldn't boom. It was still a struggle and a stress and she couldn't get it to work in the way that she wanted. So she tried this program and she tried that program and she tried working in different areas where maybe in her thought process was she would work at say a hospital.
And the people at the hospital would see how valuable she was, how smart she was, and how they would start to encourage the patients to then work with her outside of the hospital in her own programs. And what we started looking at, as she's so frustrated, we started looking at why she was in this business, why she wanted this goal.
of having this many clients making this much money.
And what it turned out to be as we went from superficial layer down deeper was it started because she really wanted to make a difference. And I think so many of us have that experience where I know me, my personal story is I went into pelvic health because I had my own struggles after my second baby and I didn't have any resources and I did have the degree that allowed me to learn about pelvic health. So I really went into it so that I could learn to heal my own body and then,
It's amazing and I have friends that need help as well. And so it just kind of naturally blossomed into this business. I went into it to help others. I went into it so that other women did not have to struggle the way that I struggled. I think many of us in the helping professions kind of fall into that category of we started this because we had our own struggle story. Well, it started with that.
But then somewhere along the line, she'd interwoven her own value with her business success. And so as we dug down into the whys, as we go layer to layer, it really started as, want to help. But then if I can get it to this level,
If I can hit this financial level, if I can hit the client level, if I can get all of the amazing referrals from the high powered doctors, right? We go into the financial means something to support our families. But we start to drift away from that initial, just want to help. And we start interweaving our own stories.
our own needs into it. And as we peeled back, what I found was that there was a really deep inner need for my client to be seen, to be heard, and to be valued. And if she grew this big business that was her goal, she deeply believed that she would be seen, heard, and valued. And as long as her business felt like it was struggling,
As long as she didn't get the big referrals from the biggest providers in her area that she wanted, she still didn't fully feel seen, heard, and valued. And that's the need that was driving her. And so when we started addressing the need, it started to become so much easier because she could see past all of the scrambling with the business and start truly letting her needs be met.
and the business became something that was fun again.
We all have masks that we put on for the world and we're great at doing dog and pony shows, right? Showing up, dressing up, being what the world needs us to be. But often we're not allowing the world to see us as true individuals who we really are.
And I think it comes back to that little human inside who wasn't seen, heard, and valued. And as we look at it...
As we look at why we're driving to have the fancy car or the big house or the paycheck, right? As we're looking at why we do some of our daily things like scroll Instagram or eat the ice cream late at night, there's a need there. And it's often something that's disguised.
And we disguise it so we really don't have to feel uncomfortable with it, although it still makes us uncomfortable. And I think it's such a huge thing for many of us when we're able to tip the scales and start meeting the need and not focus on the behavior. Because, if we have little kids,
I have little kids and you often hear that behind every behavior is a need. I truly believe this, right? If you have a kiddo, how many times have you experienced the hangries? Or you know your kiddo is so tired or they're hungry or they're overwhelmed and that's when they tantrum the biggest, right? We do it as adults too. We don't quite have the on the floor tantrums, but we have our own snaps. We have our own.
diving into and avoiding things, right? We have our own ways of being able to manage the needs that are not getting met. They just feel really heavy and yucky, but we just kind of don't look at them. And I think it's such a huge thing when we get to pause and really look at those needs.
Our feelings are often our misleading guides, Our feelings are those big emotions that we often just ignore.
and our feelings are driven by that internal need. But we don't look and listen to that need. And we try to avoid the feelings with activities such as scrolling or running or eating. And we start to pay more attention to our thoughts. And our thoughts are that little voice that tell us what we should or shouldn't do.
what we think we have to do. It's like having a bossy little friend inside your head. And those thoughts can make us feel like we have a choice, like we're in control. I mean, who doesn't want to have control? But often those thoughts are just echoing the expectations that we've learned in life because our real choice.
Our real choice comes from within, from what's genuinely important to us. But have you actually spent the time to get curious about what's genuinely important to you? What you really want out of life? Who you really want to be? Because if you're anything like me and my clients and my friends, right, the people that I'm surrounded by, many of us
We're so busy in life that we really haven't taken that time to really look at what's important.
And this last year has been my real moment and it's been several years in the making, but really looking at, I hit the paper goals, but I really don't like what I'm doing. This isn't really what I want. Is this really what I believe? And all of that questioning, and maybe it's just the middle-ish age that I'm in, 40s, but all of that questioning,
is really allowing me to see what I do want. And it's important to put that pause in and go through and then get curious about, okay, if we go through the thoughts and just know that they're there and then tap into the feelings and the underlying need, we can start to sift through the noise.
and really start getting curious about what are your own values? What are your deepest desires? So I love Emily Nagowski in her book. She has a book, Come As You Are. It's fabulous book if you haven't read it. And she talks about a garden. And the garden is really in reference to our sexual experiences and beliefs, but it applies to our entire life. So if you imagine that your mind is a garden, all of your thoughts
are seeds and some of those seeds have been planted by other people and some are our own. And the key as adults is to take the time and really get curious about each of those seeds, each of those thoughts. The key is to nurture the ones that truly resonate with you and who you are right now and who you want to be. The ones that reflect your authentic self.
and weed out the ones that no longer align with you. And I think this is such an incredible thing because I think so much of our evolution as a human is really letting go of what no longer serves us. Yes, we learn more, but I think as we learn, it's really learning to let go of the things that are weighing us down. It's really learning to let go of the things that are not helping us get to where we are.
And so as we can go through our own garden, it gets to be, this fit me or does it not? We don't have to have judgment, right? It may have served us well in the past, but it no longer serves who we want to be and who we are. It's when we get to pause to examine our thoughts that we can gain clarity and we can start to differentiate between what we truly want and what we've been conditioned.
want. The big house, the car, whatever it is, those don't necessarily mean anything about us. So when I'm feeling stuck in a space, or if I have a big goal, I start to really look at people that are living the life that I want, or have the things that I want. And
I start to really get curious. What are the things that they're doing? Because I don't have to reinvent the wheel, but I start to get really curious about what are the things that they are doing that I'm not?
then I start thinking and looking at, okay, here's the list of what they are doing. Do I want to do that? Do I want to make those sacrifices? Do I want to do those things? Do I want to put myself out there like they are? Because when I'm in that space of looking at like, don't like my client, I'm not getting what I want, but are you doing the things that
you need to do to be getting those. And if not, what's stopping you? And often it's coming back to an internal thought process tied to our feelings and needs. It's the process of introspection that allows us to shed the weight of the external pressures and really embrace the decisions that are aligned with our genuine needs. And it's so empowering to realize that we have the ability to rewrite our own narrative.
at whatever age you are, you get to change it. We get to steer our lives in the direction that feels right for you. But it takes that moment of pause. It takes getting curious. It takes that awareness. It takes saying, I like I keep beating my head against the wall and I'm not where I wanna be. Why? Why is this important to me? Why do I need this? Why? And keep going down the why train.
until you get to that internal need. Meet that need and everything's gonna shift.
if you find yourself caught in that whirlwind of thoughts.
Take a moment. I just get curious. Put on the detective hat, sit beside the thoughts and ask yourself, is this truly what I want? Or is this what I think I should want?
Is this truly what I want? Or is this what I think I should want? Because once we take out the shoulds, we can start getting really clear on us.
You open the door to more intentional thoughts. You open the door to more intentional and a more fulfilling life because you're letting go of the guilt. You're letting go of the shoulds. You're letting go of what you think is not okay. Even though in your heart of hearts, it's what you need. It's like so many of us struggle with setting up boundaries because we feel guilty for holding other people accountable to what
we are okay and not okay with.
I love looking at what are deal breakers in your life? What are those things that I'm just, nope, not gonna deal with, not gonna happen, can't do anymore. But we have to be comfortable within ourselves to be able to set those boundaries and hold those boundaries, because it's sure a hell of a lot harder to hold those boundaries with our own inner circle, our family, our friends, than it is in the outer circle and work.
and all of those kind of things. Because it's really hard to say, this is what I need, this is what I will deal with, this is what I won't deal with. It's setting those lines that are protecting our needs. And when we have those choices that are a true reflection of who you want to be, who you are inside and what you desire, it can change the trajectory of your life.
because so many of us are on this journey of what we think we should want. I was on that journey. If I sat here last year, I was on the let's do the six figure business journey.
Why? Because I thought it would make me somehow more valuable in this world. I thought it would make me loved and liked in a bigger way. a way that I wasn't feeling inside. And when I looked at that, when I really started looking, okay, so I hit the six figure, check, this is what I want, blowing up.
And I'm not I'm not who I want to be in life, I'm not doing the things I really want. I'm spending a ton of time marketing in my business. I hate marketing. And what I got into this business for was to help people. And yes, marketing gets them to help, blah, blah, blah. We can buy into all of that stuff. But what I really realized was that deep down,
I could put on this big front. I could be this spectacular person that everybody wanted and liked, right? That's what I wanted. But ultimately what I really wanted, what the deeper need was, That deeper need had everything to do with, I wanted it to be loved at my ugliest. Think about that for a minute.
Do you want to be loved when you're on top of your game or do you want to be loved when you are at the bottom? We want both.
But it's when we don't feel lovable, when we feel our lowest, our ugliest, that's when we really, really wanna be loved. And I had this moment where it was just kind of a rough day for everyone in my household. And I'd been arguing with my husband and I just was done. And so very rarely am I that person that it's like, well, I'm gonna go to bed mad.
and I'm gonna go lay on the couch instead of crawl in bed. And so I did. It's not my typical LEMO, but I was upset. So I'm like, I'm sleeping on the couch. And so I went on the couch and I was laying there crying. And I'd had upset with my kids and I upset with my spouse and I just, was a spot in life that was really overwhelming. And so I was laying on the couch crying in the dark and my husband comes.
And he stands beside the couch and he holds out his hand and he said, we're not talking about this. Come to bed. I just want to hold you.
And in that moment, that was the moment that I'm like, I really felt loved at my ugliest. Ugliest comes from when I lived in New Mexico. That was a term I'd never heard it before. But if somebody had been upset and yelling or snappy, I was so ugly to my kids. Or you'd hear a mom tell her kids, being so ugly. It's that internal feeling. It has nothing to do with the external.
It really described how I felt. Where I was not an easy human to like in that moment. And it's in those moments when we're really struggling, when we're at our lowest point that we really want that deep inner need to be just held and loved. Because it's easy to be loved and I think a lot of us grew up with the belief that we can be loved and we are loved and liked when we are good.
and everything is okay. But when shit hits the fan and we are at our ugliest, no one is gonna love us. We have to be good. And whether that is from timeouts or being sent to your room or who knows what, when we're emotional, when we're struggling, we are sent away from the rest of the humans.
And maybe we pick up this somewhere else in society, it's that conditional love versus unconditional love, that there's conditions on being loved. And not everyone feels this, right? There are people in this world who have that ultimate conditional love that they know when they are their lowest, ugliest, they are still loved. But there's a lot of us that don't have that. And in that moment, I really got that.
We can put aside our differences. We could put aside the cranky. We're not gonna dive into it, but I'm just gonna hold you. I can love you when you're at your ugliest. And I think that was such a deep inner need for so many of us. And it's something that I really, really try so hard with my kiddos that when they are tantruming, when they are being quote unquote ugly in that emotions, that I sip aside them.
And there's a lot of times where I will sit on the ground beside my kiddo, completely tantruming. And we use sign language in our house, you know, started with baby sign. So we sign, love you. And they can be super ugly in those big emotions. And I will be, I love you. Just the sign language. Or my daughter has a gizmo, so it's little phone on the watch.
I can't tell you how many times we've deactivated situations by me just texting a heart, right? I have ruined her world. We're in a big fight, whatever. And you can text that. I've done it with my partner and he's done it with me. And it's those deactivations. It's those periods where I love you even though you're really hard to like right now. I think that's such a deep internet for so many of us. And I try so hard to do that with my kids. You know, in the, we're hitting pre-teen stage.
So when we have the, hate you, I will always respond with, love you.
And this does not mean that we get walked over, that we're doormats. It means that we can hold those boundaries. You may not speak to me like that, and I still love you, right? You may not call names. You may not do this or that. And I love you. We can hold those boundaries of expectations of what we are okay with and not okay with. And we can still say you are a.
totally a volcano of emotion erupting all over the place right now. And I love you. What you do does not change how I love you. And so if we're looking at our gardens in what we believe we should and shouldn't do and how we should and shouldn't act, if we look at those gardens of thoughts and we look at what is okay and what is not okay.
We get to weed out the stuff that no longer serves us. And it's so interesting because so many of us on this journey are really going on what we think we should want, what we think we should do, what we think we should be like. And when we really get down to it and we've weeded out the shoulds, we often find that we need to change direction.
And a lot of what has carried us through continuing what we think we should do, how we should act, how we should live our life, are really just habits. And we all have habits. Habits are what drive our daily life. And habits can be good, and habits can be bad. I mean, think about it. Can you tell me exactly how you showered this morning? Or have you ever had that experience?
where we did this in grad school where you had to write the exact directions on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then somebody else had to follow the exact directions. And most often you miss little tiny steps. It's because that's habit. have you ever experienced where you've driven to work and you show up or you go to the grocery store and you show up and you're like, my gosh, I don't even know how I got here. Habit. Habits are huge because
Our are allowing our brains to get us through life without being overly consumed with all the details.
We all have good and bad habits.
And if you look at your daily habits, you can start to see the patterns in what you're doing and how they can shift your life towards more of what you want or how they're keeping you stuck in the same place. So throughout my adult life, my morning habits have changed depending on my different roles. Pre-kids living alone, I had different habits in the morning.
pre-kids, I got up, I exercised, I got ready for work. I didn't have to worry about anything other than me, but I had a lot more time to get all the things that I wanted to do. But I also had points where I was really focused on business. And so I'd start my morning with things that weren't starting me in a good space, things like checking my email.
Things like hopping on Facebook to look at maybe the latest posts that I posted for my business. As a mom, my habits have shifted because I'm now caretaking, right? And I don't have the freedom to just like go to a yoga class because I also have to get the kids to school. It's looking at those habits and how they're either supporting your needs or masking your needs.
It's bringing some conscious thought into the habits. And I think it's such an important thing.
There are those habits that really support our life, but we have to consciously bring them in. It's a conscious choice to bring them in. But it becomes a habit when they're maintained, right? When we do the same thing again and again, where we're no longer thinking about it. It becomes a habit that you exercise in the morning or that you meditate in the morning. It becomes a habit that you brush your teeth every day. Habits are comforting.
and they can sometimes lead us away from what we really want. And sometimes it takes a bit of detective work to figure out what needs all of our habits are trying to meet. Because we're tying everything back into our needs, right? We're doing everything in our life to fulfill those needs. So our habits fulfill the needs too. I found that when I'm needing internal answers,
that I'm just not finding, right? Maybe I'm waiting for something. Maybe I just like have that unease feeling in life. I start scrolling Instagram and it's a mindless scroll. And really, I'm looking for an internal answer, but it feels like maybe I'll find it by scrolling, but I'm not going to find it externally. instead of taking that moment to sit in silence and get uncomfortable in those feelings, those sensations, I mindlessly scrolling.
It's the habit of sitting down and having a glass of wine or eating something sugary at the end of the day because it's like, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so tired. If I just do this, I can just disengage. It's a habit. It's a habit in how we eat every day. It's a habit in how we are doing our daily activities. Do you have the habit of
In times that you're waiting, you just go on and scroll? Or do you read? Or do you look around? Do you talk to people? It becomes a habit if you say hi to everyone. Habits are like well-worn paths in the forest. They're easy to follow, but they don't lead us necessarily to where we want to go. And we mindlessly follow our habits every day.
and to uncover the needs behind our own habits, we have to get curious and observe our own behaviors. We have to ask ourselves, what am I seeking in this habit? And this is uncomfortable because often we're doing those habits to avoid the needs and the feelings. What am I seeking with this habit? Is it comfort? Is it distraction? Is it connection? I think so many of us are searching social media for connection.
And it's so powerful. How many times do we use something in our life so we don't have to face something else in our life, right? We find something that distracts us from actually getting curious about the feelings that are going on. We use something to comfort. Food is a comfort of mine. When I'm feeling stressed, I go for the chocolate. That habit is a comfort.
I often use reading as a distraction because I can launch myself into learning something. I can dive into the best romance book. But I know at times I'm using that as fun. Sometimes I'm using that to give myself some rest. But sometimes I'm using it so I don't have to really look up and look at what's going on in my life. And it's how I'm using it.
that is most important. It's when it becomes ingrained in the habit instead of, I have some space and time I'm going to read. Nope, I'm reading every single night at the same time because then I don't have to really go through my day. So once we can identify the underlying need, I need connection, I need to be valued, I need to be seen, I need to be heard, then we can start
to explore some healthier ways to fulfill it. Ways that align more closely with our true desires and our true values. The beauty of habits is they can be reshaped, but it all starts with intentional changes.
Perhaps instead of reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, you allow yourself to shift that habit and give yourself five minutes in silence.
or say a couple gratitude thank yous or turn on a meditation. Often it's starting really small, I think when we jump in and say, I'm gonna do this for the next 30 days, I'm gonna run six miles a day for the next 30 days, it derails us when we don't, when we run for five,
days in a row, but the sixth day it's raining and gross and we don't want to go, so we don't. Well, then we kind of like, well, I didn't make the 30 days, so I'm done. But you can do it for today, right? You can choose to do something every single day. I think that's where it's starting small and being conscious and making it easy is to say, I'm going to wake up this morning, right? I woke up this morning and I'm going to meditate, run, drink lots of water, whatever it is, but go for it.
each day because that's when we're shifting, we're reshaping, we're changing. And we also need to be really kind with ourselves when we don't fall through. It's giving ourselves grace. It's saying, okay, I didn't do it today, but I can try again tomorrow.
And it's choosing each and every day that creates those new habits. It's not berating yourself over and over because you missed a day.
It's the simple shifts that can gradually transform your whole routine. It's allowing you to start your day with a little bit more clarity and more intention. But changing a habits is a journey. It's not a sprint. so add in times where you celebrate the small victories. I think that is such a huge balance to a negative view of the world. It's allowing yourself to be really excited and grateful.
When you're going to park and there's the parking spot right up close, right where you want it, somebody's just pulling out so you can pull in. From an interview that'll be coming out, I'm such a lucky girl. I love the serendipity of it and say, I did that, right? I really want a parking spot up close.
Once one comes out, I did that. I love those serendipitous moments.
I invite you to start looking at your habits. How can you make your habits more closely aligned with your needs?
and you'll likely find that your life will begin to feel more satisfying, more authentic. So be your own detective.
unlock the freedom that comes from living in harmony with your true self
because it's such an incredible thing.
A wise friend once told me that what feels natural isn't always clear because we've been shaped by so many external things over the years. We need to be deliberate, making conscious choices rather than just reacting. And we all just react, right?
But those impulses can lead us down a path that might not align with our true desires. It's taking that moment and really looking at what are those underlying needs to be able to create what you want.
By cultivating this awareness, we can start making choices that are more in tune with who you are and the life that you want. Because imagine if you got to live a life where every decision felt more intentional and fulfilling. Where the things that you do in the past that you choose are the reflection of your deepest needs and values. That's the power of moving beyond all of the thoughts and consciously embracing our choices.
So how do we bring more conscious choice to our actions? Well, we start by pushing pause, slowing things down, seeing if you can pause a minute before you act, taking a breath, checking in with yourself. What do I really want? Is this what I want or is this what I should want? What is behind this? What is the need there? This isn't about shutting down our feelings or thoughts, but rather inviting them in for a little chat, sitting beside your little self and asking, hey,
What's going on here? And maybe those feelings are giving us a thumbs up that our knees are being met. But if not, it's worth taking a second look and looking at the action you're about to take, or maybe that you just took, because sometimes we do just act and we get the opportunity to go back and reflect. Because at the end of the day, it's understanding our needs that opens up a world of choices and freedom. It's about moving from autopilot to being the pilot of our lives.
Isn't that what we really want? A life that feels vibrant and true to who we are? So I'm going to invite you to slow down, tune in, and really allow yourself to step into a full life of conscious choices and understanding your needs. Because we all have that ability. It's a journey. It's not a sprint. So if it doesn't go right the first way, it's okay. If you go on impulse and do something that you might regret,
It's okay. Give yourself a little grace, a little love. Sit with yourself in those ugly feeling moments and love yourself. And know that you get to try again in the next minute, in the next hour, in the next day. We all get to try again.
so get curious, put on your detective hat, look into those spots, weed that garden, check your habits and see what underlying needs are driving you.
And because I think it is so incredibly important for adults to hear, especially you. You are smart. You are brave. You are kind. You are fun. You are funny. are worthy and you are deserving. I love you and I like you. And I'm so grateful that you're here in my life. And I wish you all of the happiness in today. And we'll talk to you on the next podcast.
Landy Peek (45:59)
Hey, before you go, just a little bit of legal. This podcast is designed for educational purposes only. It is not to replace any expert advice from your doctors, therapists, coaches, or any other professional that you would work with. It's just a chat with a friend, me, where we get curious about ideas, thoughts, and things that are going on in our lives. And as we're talking about friends, if you know someone who would benefit from the conversation today, please share.
Because I think the more that we open up these conversations, the more benefit we all get. So until next time, give yourself a big hug from me and stay curious because that's the fun in this world.
