Landy Peek (00:00)
Welcome to the Landy Peak podcast. I'm your host and friend, Landy Peak, and I am thrilled to have you join me. In each episode, we will explore what makes life truly fulfilling, happiness, deep connections, and self-discovery. Together we'll uncover that happiness is not a destination, but a way of living. Now let's dive into today's episode.
Landy Peek (00:32)
Hey there and welcome back to the Landy Peak Podcast. This is Landy Peak, your friend and host.
And today we're diving into something I think a lot of people are feeling right now, but we're not always talking about it. And that's the burnout cycle. If you've been feeling exhausted, uninspired, and like you're running on empty, this episode is just what you need. Burnout isn't just about being tired.
It's more about feeling disconnected from yourself. It's when you're caught in a loop of responsibilities and craving something more. More adventure, more joy, more authenticity. And here's the thing, midlife is the perfect time to break free from this cycle and really rediscover who you truly are.
So if you're ready to stop just surviving and actually start truly living, stick with me because we're about to shift some energy for you today.
So let's start with this question. Have you ever felt like you're doing everything? Showing up for work, family, friends, keeping up with life. But at the same time, you totally feel drained. It's like you're on autopilot, but deep down, you know something isn't right. You're showing up with a smile. You're getting it all done.
but you don't feel good. You don't feel that spark, that energy, that love of life. You don't get up every morning excited to start your day.
You wake up with a list of to-dos that you're dreading to do. That, my friend, is the burnout cycle. And for women in perimenopause, it can feel even more
Landy Peek AI (02:50)
intense.
Landy Peek (02:51)
because our bodies are already going through massive shifts.
And so here's what's happening. Your hormones, especially cortisol, estrogen and progesterone are fluctuating because of perimenopause, which is making you more sensitive to stress. Now remember, cortisol is the stress hormone. Estrogen and progesterone both help you combat the effects of stress.
They help give your brain a little bit more feel good. And when those start dipping and your cortisol stress hormone starts increasing, it's a disaster waiting to happen. it makes you so much more sensitive to the stress that's going on in your life.
You have less tools in your toolbox right now to be able to handle it. That's why things feel so much bigger and so much harder and why when last year you could totally handle the stress, now it's overwhelming.
Part of the burnout cycle is that you have been giving, doing, and pushing through for years. And honestly, it's worked. You are successful because you pushed through, because you were busy doing and giving. It was a strategy that worked really, really well and got you where you are in life. But it's not sustainable. Your nervous system
is now screaming for a reset. And deep down, you may be feeling a pull for something different, something more aligned with your truth. Burnout isn't just exhaustion. It's a disconnect between what your soul craves and how you're actually living.
So what do we do to break the cycle? Number one is the power of presence and reconnection. So how do we break this cycle? Because the old approach that really did get us a lot of places to just push through just doesn't work anymore. Our bodies are asking us to slow down and listen. And this first step
is presence. It's reconnecting with yourself. And I don't know if you're like me, but I was a point in my life where it was really uncomfortable to be with me. Just alone. Me, myself, and I. I didn't like it. I was the one that constantly had something going on in the background.
I had a podcast going, I had music going, I had something to entertain me. If I had a moment that I just had to sit somewhere, like in a waiting room, my phone was out. I was entertaining myself. The idea of meditation and sitting in silence made me wanna vomit. Like it was so uncomfortable. And even when I didn't have something to externally distract me,
I had something going on in my head all the time. One of my big signs that now I tune into that I'm stressed is that I start to have a song play over and over in my mind. Typically, I can go through the day and have silence in my head. I can pull up ideas when I need to pull up ideas. This was a new thing for me because in my 20s,
I always had something going on in my head. There was never silence. There was ping-ponging everywhere. It was constant. I didn't realize that you could actually have silence, like, in your head. And now I notice I'm getting really overwhelmed when I start replaying a song. That's my cue. I need to step back.
Being able to really connect with myself was a journey. It was a stress and a struggle, but it was so worth it. Because now I have a daily practice, 20 minutes of silence every single morning where I just sit, myself, and I in silence, absolute silence, usually in the dark.
It's just my time with myself to really connect.
There is no purpose in my time of silence. I don't come in with thoughts or things that I'm chanting. One of the hardest things for me around meditation was figuring out what to do with the thoughts that were interfering with what I thought was supposed to be meditation. But my silence practice, it comes really easily.
And yes, I do have thoughts that wander in. get to note them, see if they're anything important or if it happens to be a to-do list. But I've really worked with my mind. So there is that time and space and that's a space of creativity.
When we're allowing ourselves to really connect with ourselves, that's where the magic happens. That's where the creativity comes. That's where we're really tapping into the feminine energy. We are living in such a strong world of masculine energy inside of ourselves. So every human has masculine and feminine energy, right? And they have it listed in like masculine is the doer and
protector and feminine is more of the creator and the leader. And so it's this balance between the insides of ourselves, right? It's not outside, it's not external. It's that we tune in and turn on that masculine doer out there pushing energy when we all as humans,
have and need this balance between the push push push and the creativity and the rest and the nurturing. And we're really good at pushing. We're really good at nurturing, except ourselves. But what we aren't good at is that allowing ourselves to be and not do. And when we can connect with ourselves,
It's allowing ourselves to truly be. So when you're reconnecting with yourself, even in small moments, it could look like taking five minutes to breathe and check in with your body. Now I know five minutes seems like a horribly long time. So what if you just did it for 30 seconds? Like everything we do, when you're going into an exercise program, you don't go out and run a marathon. You work up to it.
But breathing is something that you can focus on. I know a lot of us need that focus because our brains are going everywhere. So it's not altering your breathing. Although you can have a set beat, right? Inhale. Although you can have a set beat, inhale for the count of four, exhale for the count of seven. That's one way you're connecting.
It can also just be paying attention to your breathing. It can also be saying no to something that drains you.
Now this is a big one because we're really good at saying yes. Really good. Especially as the younger versions of us, we would say yes for everything because we were afraid of disappointing someone. Now we're a little bit better at disappointing people, but sometimes we don't feel like we can say no. And you get to be
picky, you get to be choosy and it's okay to say no. It's also reconnecting with yourself is saying yes to you. So it's saying no to the things that are draining you, but yes to the things that bring you light and sparkle. It was for me today and it was kind of a chilly morning and it just was a rough morning just getting to school and I said yes.
Even though I didn't really feel like going, but I knew it would make me feel better. I said yes to to going for a horseback ride. We lease a horse and today was one of the days that we have her available for us to ride. And even though I didn't feel like it, I still said yes to me because I knew going out and spending, I actually spent two hours with the horse today, but going out and spending time.
That would make me feel better. That would be connecting with myself at a deeper level. Horses are absolutely magical. But sometimes it's saying yes. Sometimes it's saying, you know what, I'm going to push off recording the podcast so I can spend time because if I had recorded it this morning, my mind frame would have been completely different.
It's spending time in nature. It's walking barefoot in the grass. It's feeling the sun on your face. Today it was choosing to ride out on a trail ride instead of working on indoor arena things. It doesn't have to take long. There is magic in taking off your shoes and walking through grass.
Allowing yourself to really just connect with the Earth.
It's really sitting there and appreciating the sun on your face. It doesn't take long and we're so worried about cramming something in and adding another to do. But instead of looking at how am I going to make it work? What if instead you looked at the experience and just focused on how it's going to make you feel.
This isn't about adding more to your to-do list. It really isn't. It's about shifting how you show up for yourself in simple and sustainable ways. Emphasis on sustainable, because if you're anything like me, we're really good at pushing to burn out.
One of my favorite things that I've learned around the body is the nervous system.
And our nervous systems are incredible and flexible. And one of the things I didn't realize before I really started doing work around the nervous system was the nervous system is supposed to be flexible. It's not supposed to be on high alert all the time. And we do get stuck in a trauma cycle if we've experienced trauma. Now trauma, big name.
but it doesn't have to be a big event. It could be chronic stress that has your nervous system glitching. And that's what it is. Our nervous systems literally glitch after trauma or chronic stress. So let's talk about nervous system healing because if you've been stuck in fight or flight or freeze or fawning mode for years,
It's time to reset. need to reset. And reset doesn't mean years of therapy, although it can help. But what I've really learned, reset comes from connection. Connection is one of the best things that can heal trauma. Reset comes from connecting with yourself. Reset comes from feeling safe with yourself. Reset comes
by doing simple, sustainable things, gentle movement, honoring yourself by walking, stretching, dancing in your kitchen. It comes from connecting with yourself through breath work or just practicing deep belly breathing.
It comes from awareness of your reactions and your interactions of how you are interacting with others. What is the go-to response with no judgment, just curiosity.
It's giving yourself a moment of choice instead of rushing to the next thing.
Your body wants to feel safe. And when we create safety within, you can finally step into the adventure of life without burning out. Because honestly, the burnout cycle is a trauma response. And trauma is such a buzzword now. And I would wager 99 to 100 % of us have a trauma in our life.
And now's the time in this midlife space to learn how to navigate and negotiate those responses in a different way. Just because you always overreact doesn't mean that you have to continue that pattern. We can hit reset with your nervous system. Just because you shut down or get into
decision overwhelm or overload, right? Because we're making, what is it, like 35,000 decisions a day, something crazy like that. Yeah, if you think about it, we're burned out because we've pushed ourselves too hard and we keep pushing. And as we push and push and get up early to get that workout in, because it's a to do and it's important and we check it off, and then
If you're like me, you're great at burning the candles at both ends. Because then at night, you've pushed so hard and you're so mentally overloaded and exhausted that then you mindlessly watch TV or scroll social media just so that you don't have to make the decision to go to bed. Because that feels hard. Have you ever sat down on the couch and you're mindlessly scrolling or watching TV
and you know you need to get to bed, but it seems like so much energy to just get yourself off the couch and go to bed. Like it's too much energy. I can't do it. I'm just gonna sit here for another hour. This is real. And we are struggling. And we're also in just this information overload and stress because of the world we're in. It's a tough time.
We need to honor ourselves in this time. We need to have grace with ourselves. We need to allow ourselves to really recognize we're overwhelmed and overloaded and overstressed. And, my favorite word, and there's something you can do about it.
You can rediscover who you are through adventure and happiness and authenticity.
How do we shift burnout to joy? I want you to think about this. When was the last time you did something purely for you? I me, this morning I went for a ride. But a year ago, I wouldn't have done that. I would have felt so freaking guilty for saying, know what? My mind is not in the best space today. So instead of going and pushing through work,
and making myself do whatever I had on my to-do list.
I said no. Going for a ride and spending time with a horse is going to be the most valuable thing for me. Completely changed my outlook.
When was the last time you did something purely for you? Something spontaneous, exciting, or just fun.
Adventure doesn't have to mean booking a one-way ticket to Bali, although that would be really fun if anybody wants to go with me. It can be small, everyday moments of aliveness. It's adding adventure into your regular day.
It can be trying a new coffee shop or a new drink at the one that you already go to. It can be saying yes to a last minute invite instead of overthinking it. It can be dancing, painting, or trying something new just because it feels good. It can be going for a walk, sitting in the sun, reading a book, letting yourself and your brain downshift.
Happiness isn't a destination. This is one of the biggest ah-has because I truly thought it was. I truly thought once I checked off everything on my list and I got to the level that I wanted to get to, I would be happy. Nope, I the same old feelings and the same old fears and the same old everything just at a new level. Happiness is a practice. Just like yoga or meditating or running.
or any other thing that we do, right? We practice and we don't expect it to be perfect right away.
Happiness comes from daily choices. Happiness comes from our daily outlook.
And our authenticity, that comes when we let go of the roles we've been playing and start living for ourselves again.
I have a friend, Heather, and she's phenomenal. Oh my gosh. And we were talking and she said that life, our lives are like plays that are going on. And all of the different people in our life and us, we're all playing roles.
but it's not truly who we are, right? People come into our lives as a role and if you see it that way, it really shifts how you look at different people. But if you see that you are also in a play, playing a role,
You're not living for yourself. You're playing the role you think you should. You're playing the role to make others happy. You're playing the role that you think will make you happy. But instead, ask yourself, just for a moment, do you love your life? Is this really what you want?
And if it's not, what do you truly want? What would make you feel free?
Where can you bring more pleasure into your daily life?
Your inner child, that little part of you that once ran barefoot, laughed without hesitation, followed her curiosity, she's still in there. She just got so crammed down because of all of the things that she was supposed to do as a grownup, right? Grownups weren't supposed to play.
She's there and she's just waiting for you to say yes to life again.
to say yes to you. And one of the very cool things I found is a lot of times when I'm doing this work in my own life and with clients is we're finding it's that inner child, that little girl who has the most fear.
and also is the most authentic. She knows exactly who you are and what life should be like. And if we can tap back in, if we can tap back into that little girl inside who freely laughed and danced and played and knew what passion she had, we can start really allowing that side of you to come out, allowing yourself to bring in joy and play and fun.
allowing yourself to bring in the hobbies that really feel good. Because we're all in a state of overwhelm. We're all in a state of burnout.
And it really takes courage, a lot of courage.
to value yourself enough that you can go off trail.
that you can reinvent what life looks like, that you don't follow the mold of what everyone else says. Because honestly, you can read and listen and really cognitively think through and understand all of the different aspects of self-care, of authenticity, of nervous system, of inner child work, right?
There are so many of us that are living inside our heads and we're not connected with our bodies. We have learned to turn off what our bodies are telling us unless they're screaming in pain.
but if we can tune in.
really come back.
It can change our lives because you have to value yourself enough. Find your own self-worth to really embody the different things that you want because you're really, really good at learning. We excelled at learning. But the reason that you haven't changed your life to the way that you want it, the reason that you keep reading self-help books,
the reason that you start and stop exercise programs or eating plans or whatever it is, is because you are not valuing yourself enough to follow through. And that's really harsh.
but I know it's true for me. I know that I have to push myself sometimes to do what I know I need because sometimes it feels more uncomfortable to give myself rest than to just keep pushing through the burnout because I know the burnout. I know how it feels to feel exhausted.
know how to push through.
I don't know what it means to rest. I don't know what it means to play. What's gonna happen? My inner child starts to freak out. Like grownups are supposed to work hard. Grownups are supposed to work hard. Is it really truly safe for me to just lay in a hammock and read when I'm not on vacation? I mean, if I go on vacation, then it is that permission.
As long as we're trying to create a work-life balance, we're gonna fail.
But when we step into living life, truly living life, in an authentic way that supports us and feels good, we're gonna thrive.
But that's hard to do. It's hard when all those inner beliefs start whispering, creating doubt.
I read something on social media. can't remember if it was a meme or a post or real or whatever. But it said something to the effect of.
I know I'm an adult and I'm safe, but there are still times when I feel like I got in trouble for no reason because those childhood wounds run deep. And I get that in a really, really big way. This happened to me the other day where like I am a safe adult. I'm confident. I live my life generally pretty happy.
And there was an instance where somebody had said something It wasn't anybody that was close to me. It wasn't anything really big. But it was basically telling me no. And I felt like I was getting in such big trouble.
It was a physiological response. Really fascinating because as I looked at the actual words that were said, there was nothing there. But something about either the tone or the words themselves, even though they were benign, really shamed that inner little girl.
And it was really fascinating because I'm feeling this really physiological shame response that didn't warrant the situation. Because those childhood wounds run deep and we're not looking to never experience those.
But instead of letting it derail me, I got really curious. my gosh, this is fascinating. I so feel it. And then I did a little parts work where I'm talking, there's a little part of me that's feeling really sad and scared and shamed. And, you know, be able to kind of work through it. I still don't know why. It was such a huge response, but it was.
But it's getting curious and it's supporting that part of you that had that shame response. Because honestly, a lot of us grew up with shame as the way that we were molded. Shame was the tool that was used to teach us.
And so it comes out really strong.
Burnout and perimenopause in this midpoint of life.
It's more than just a physical exhaustion. It's a sign that something in your life is out of alignment. And the very first step is to bring yourself aware, to be present in the moment, small moments of awareness, and then working with your nervous system to regulate, to allow yourself to come back to a space that's safe.
Bringing in adventure and happiness and authenticity starts with simple, intentional choices every day.
So here's my challenge for you. I invite you to do one thing today that reconnects you to yourself. Maybe that's just taking a deep breath. Maybe it's going outside. Or maybe it's saying yes to something just because it feels good.
You deserve that.
Landy Peek (31:40)
Okay, so I'm dropping into this podcast episode after I've already recorded it because I have something incredibly exciting to share.
I want to take a moment and just talk, like really talk, because this episode really was an inspiration for something that I've been working on and playing with for the last few months. And I can't remember if I've actually mentioned it in the podcast or not,
When was the last time you felt free? Like deep in your bones, completely yourself kind of free. No guilt, no pressure, just you laughing and exploring and moving and feeling again and being you, the authentic you. That you that that inner little girl knows and loves and is craving. Because if that's
feels like a distant memory. I have something I'm so excited about to share with you. So I have been working on this for a while now. And I finally tuned in to what exactly it is. And it's not a program. It's an experience.
because I really tuned in after this episode. As I had said, we're really, really good at learning, but we're not good at embodying. So I've created an experience that will help you embody all of the things that we talk about. It's called the Spark Initiative and it's not a program at all. It's not something that I've ever done before. It's not coaching, it's not therapy, it truly is an experience.
It's over six months that we're shaking things up, bringing back adventure into your life, rediscovering what lights you up, breaking free from the burnout cycle in a way that actually sticks. Because it's an experience. It helps you integrate with me movement.
creativity, deep connection and conversations into your daily life without you having to go through and learn something new and think about it.
It's not anything that I've seen out there before.
It's weekly challenges to get you to fully embody what I share in a very private podcast.
It's monthly experiences with monthly gift boxes to enhance your experience.
and my favorite part, a weekend retreat to bring it all together.
This is not designed to talk you through anything. this is created to help you embody the things that you want in your life. Think connection, joy. This is a total reset for your soul. It's not about adding more to your plate. It's about making space for you.
and if something in you is saying, this is what I've been needing, let's talk. DM me on Instagram or Facebook, reach out in any way, shape or form, email me at landypeak.com because I'd love to share the details with you.
Because trust me, this is going to be magic, truly magic. And I'm holding a spot just for you.
Landy Peek (35:38)
I wanna thank you for being here today, for taking this time to really do something good for you. And I'm gonna challenge you even more. You listened, you took it in cognitively. Now is the next step to embody it, to take it from how am gonna do this to an actual experience. This season of life isn't about fading. It's about stepping into your most vibrant,
authentic and joyful self.
And because I truly believe each human should hear. You are smart and notice how it feels to hear that. Do you turn this part off every time it comes on? Or do you listen?
Allow my voice to wash over you. Allow you to receive it at the cellular level. You are smart. You are kind. You are brave. You are fun. You are funny. You are worthy of everything that you dream of. You are deserving of everything that you dream of.
You are loved and you make a huge difference in this world. I am so grateful that you are in my life. I love you and I like you. And we'll talk to you on the next podcast.
Landy Peek (37:05)
Hey, before you go, just a little bit of legal. This podcast is designed for educational purposes only. It is not to replace any expert advice from your doctors, therapists, coaches, or any other professional that you would work with. It's just a chat with a friend, me, where we get curious about ideas, thoughts, and things that are going on in our lives. And as we're talking about friends, if you know someone who would benefit from the conversation today, please share.
Because I think the more that we open up these conversations, the more benefit we all get. So until next time, give yourself a big hug from me and stay curious because that's the fun in this world.
